There are no Neutrals when it comes to givers and takers. There are no fence sitters. The balancing act of being in the middle is such a finite tipping point that in reality you are always on one side of the fence or the other.
So which side of the fence are you on?
We arrive, are born and quite often in our elder years of old age leave as takers. As infants we’re 100% dependent on our parents for food, nurturing and shelter and although giving back love and joy it’s not until we are young adults or are exceptional children that we have the opportunity to start giving back to any large extent. Unfortunately many young people don’t participate in volunteerism because they have not been raised in a family that had made the posivalue of giving a part of their family culture.
For the rest of our lives we are for the most part in a position to be a giver until we once again reach that age where we become dependant upon others for some of the basic necessities of life. It’s the very nature of humans that we are Interdependent. We in fact are the most Interdependent of all species.
Stephen Covey identified an acspect of our Interdependancy with relationships as deposits and withdrawls. You need a great deal of deposits in life and in relationships to guarantee you have a sufficient balance to made a withdrawl and that the withdrawal doesn’t put you into overdraft.
Whenever we get into discussions of giving, there’s a part of our brain that almost automatically works against the notion of giving. It’s a primal instinct to be a hoarder of food and territory for survival. Even if you don’t acknowledge that part in you, it quite often directs itself to the conversation of the capacity to give. That is a definite part of the equation. Our capacity comes from both the resources we have and our awareness and responsibility to be able to. This conversation is the primarilty on the focus of awareness. When it comes to capacity it is really the Resource Capacity we are talking about.
Giving – Resource Capacity – T(aking) = Give / Take Balance
. . Time
The formula is the Amount you Give -(minus) Resource Capacity – what you take devided by time = your Give Take Balance which will be either Plus or Minus. Think of it like hockey. Your plus minu is the amount of goals you are on the ice for, minus the number of goals that is scored on your team while you’re on the ice. If it works out to a zero, consider that you are in a minus… no fence sitting.
So we acknowledge right off the start that someone with a severe handicap may not have the capacity to do much giving. (Everyone starts at 100, and in an extreme case where a person was in a coma the obvious minus would be 100. Having said that we also acknowledge that the each case is subjective. However we must also point out that in some wonderful illustrations (see our top ten videos Clay Dyer and Nick Vujicic.) there are amazing cases where with almost no physical resources a person can crate a 100% capacity to give. That begs the question is the lack of RC a reason or an excuse?
Giving is positive and like positivity can be measured in all things. True giving is done without expectation. With expectation it is really a form of barter and negotiation.
Giving can start off with the smallest of things. Do you hold doors open for other people more than are held for you. Do you smile at others often. Do you go out of your way to learn peoples names, where they are from and what’s important to them? Those are simple activities but they won’t happen unless you are mindful of the opportunities and make them a habit.
Giving really starts to create dividends when you start to take on bigger possibilities like volunteering. Donating blood, dirivng a cancer patient to the hospital, fund raising for cancer, or becoming a big brother or big sister.
Giving is a rewarding road and the exciting part is that it often takes you places you never dreamed of going. The best more recent exmple is the Sandra Bullock movie Blind Side, simply because it was based upon a real story. If you haven’t watched it, DO!
This is the better than life real story, that is spun out x 2 x 10 x 100. When you’re done reading this blog, come back and watch the videos…. you’ll feel great when you’re done and you’ll also see that this story is not a one of! If you’ve seen and love this movie, you’ll love the 20/20 ABC New Story.
—— The dividends!
SO the connection has to be made between the life of Michael Orr before the kindness shown by the Tuey family and so many other underprivlidged youth that never get the chance that illustrates the possibilities when we accept the Interdependency response.
Law of he harvest. You reap what you sew. Posivalue #19 Volunteering.
For those of you who have been giving for years you will know it pays dividends you never dreamed of. My life has been affected 100% because of my volunteering. One of the current singers I’m working with was because I met him at a special riding camp over three decades ago. Because I volunteered there (SARI) Special Academy Riding Insitutute, one of the parents there got me involved in London Minor Football. This is where I met the McAulley Boys which became my Juno nominated group I was so privilidged to work with for three years because years piror I had coached all for brothers over the six years I volunteered there.
The absolute change in my life came as a result of volunteering in Big Brothers for over ten years. My 3rd assigned little brother Jon McDiarmid, lived next door to Debby Saker who a few years later I married. Suffice to say, no Big Brothers, no, Debby, no Richard, Dawn or Lesley (my kids) no Kaydence my grandaughter and you can guess where the ripple will go in years to come. So when you ask me how volunteering has affected my life, I’ve got quite an answer for you, and I could add quite a bit more.
If you were a non believer and asked me how important giving is, I would have to say that you would have to believe first in the importance and understanding of the Interdependency Responsibility. You would also need to believe in the importance of each and every creation of a ripple effect as it is always the momentum that creates wealth and abudance. Posivalue 10.
Once you understand those two paradigm shifing values you will always become a giver. Your reward will be an unsinkabile self worth and dignity that money can never buy (Scrooge) and so many other benefits you never even dreamed of!
PIQ Positive Imperative Question Will you make the new years resolution to be a giver in 2010?
Victor Sinclair. Author of the forthcoming books; the Positive Imperative and the Positive Music Imperative, has a wide background in teaching, broadcasting, the music industry and business and most recently served as a founder and Executive Director of the American Chamber of Commerce in Canada (AmCham Canada). He has also dedicated more than 30 years of his life to volunteerism and not for profits including Big Brothers, Memorial Boys and Girls Clubs, Minor Leagues Sports and as a President and board member of several not-for-profit boards. Interests include family, biking, tennis, reading, music and PI/PMI of course.