Sara Westbrook takes a deep look into her personal past and examines a choice that she made after facing a tough dilemma in her youth. Should she walk away from her Dad or not?
I remember a song publisher telling me how much he enjoyed my song ,’Never Walk Away’, except he suggested I make one change ‘I won’t put the blame on you’ to ‘I will put the blame on you.’ He said that when you blame others the song sells. As you can see I did not take him up on his suggestion.Putting the blame on someone else takes away our ability to take a look at our choices. It leaves us powerless to move forward, to learn, to grow.
When I was 11 my Dad not only walked away from his marriage he walked away from me. I was devastated. I could not figure out what was wrong with me. My Dad & I had always had a wonderful relationship. I was clearing out a box the other day and came across a letter I wrote to my Dad when I was 13.
I just wanted to say that I love you and I always will. I wanted to ask you why you left, you just walked out and that really hurt me because I love you and wanted you to stay. If you would have told me why you left that would have made me feel better, even if I didn’t agree! I know you thought you were doing me a favor, but you weren’t. Maybe we can talk sometime!
Love you always,
I chose not to send the letter. I was too afraid he would be angry and not see me at all.
Now that I am older I understand he did what he thought would hurt me less. This does not mean what he did was right. But I had a choice…to blame him or to move forward. I decided if I kept blaming him I would not achieve what I eventually wanted….a relationship with my Dad. Just in making that choice I was able to feel loving towards myself and break free from the ‘blame game’. I realized that every one makes different choices…good or bad but it is their choice and they are entitled to it whether I agree or not. The key is to make a choice that will create what we want in our life. It is our choices that determine whether the circumstance becomes a negative or a positive. Having a wait and see attitude puts us in neutral and as a result, we give away our ability to make a choice to an outside force.
This circumstance was not how I wanted to learn my lesson of taking responsibility for my life but then we don’t get to choose the circumstance. I am glad I saw the gift.
my voice your choice
‘Let’s Start a Love Crusade’
Sara Westbrook is an international singer/songwriter/speaker. Sara
created UPower® concerts, motivational concerts designed to let people,
especially youth, know they have the ability to make powerful choices
that will create a positive impact no matter what the circumstance.
Each song Sara writes contains a life skill. Through the power of
speech and music Sara takes people on a journey. Let the Journey Begin