The word self-love… such a great word, yet most of my life I never really understood what it meant. I thought that if I really took time for myself, asked for the things I wanted and stood in that, that it meant I was selfish. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I came to realize that without nurturing the self, we could never really understand, love or nurture others.
Hmm… So if I don’t truly love the self, then there was no way that I could truly love others, as there would always be a disconnect. Have you ever felt this way before? You may have been jealous over something? Or felt inadequate in a relationship? Or sought out attention because you yourself weren’t feeling enough?
I have experienced all of these things and more.
Reflecting back into my life, I realized that my disconnect in those relationships, whether it was in a love relationship or one with friends, had nothing to do with them but with my own disconnect with myself. My perceived illusion of what I thought others would “give” to me, instead of feeling complete in my own self and then allowing others into my life to accent the great things.
Once I realized this, I had to figure out how do I nurture this great relationship with myself? I started with these 3 steps:
1) The exercise in the mirror: Some of us have grown up in environments where empowering words were scarce, we were told many “negative” things growing up and then as kids started to believe it and therefore as adults, that’s all we knew. This exercise is to be done 2 times a day, while looking at yourself in the mirror, preferably right into your own eyes. Speak to yourself and say:
– I love you
– I am proud of you
– I appreciate you
– I forgive you
– I am doing the best that I can with the knowledge, skills and understanding that I have.
This exercise at first might feel weird, it might feel awkward, it might not feel like anything… but trust me over time it’s a powerful one to connect with you, allow you to free yourself from the binds that hold you and start to uncover the great you! It all starts with your own self belief.
2) When you are about to make a decision, reflect in the decision and ask yourself
– Is this what I really want?
– Does it feel good for me to move in this direction?
– Is it in alignment with my goals and with my values?
– Will it get me closer to where I want to be?
Self reflection is a great tool to utilize when it comes to the connection with the self. It makes us analyze whether our decisions are based on the true self or whether we are letting others in our life influence our decisions. It really makes you realize what it is that you truly want and it will allow you to make easier decisions that feel good.
3) Lastly, take inventory of your life and clean out the things in it that don’t resonate with who you are and what you want. This can be in all aspects. It’s one of my favorite exercises to do, the release of the old so that I can make room for the new.
Once you can let go of some of the things that are holding back or the things that you have been gripping on tight to, it will be easier in all avenues to be able to do this. I am a culprit of doing this with people, however now I just realize that if we are meant to be connected we will be and nothing will stop that from happening so it’s ok to release them. It took me a while to get here though!
Self love is something that we must be in awareness of… it’s almost one of those things that you have to remind yourself of every hour, like a phone alarm that says “Are you loving yourself?” Trust me though through the hard work of this exercise and remembering to think about this comes a great relationship, one that feels really intense and guess what… it will be with you forever, the love of the self, never fades… unless of course you want it! LOVE YOU because you are great!~!
She is the owner and president of CLC Consulting, a consulting firm that specializes in team synergy and connecting the team puzzle pieces together.
She is also the author of the newly released book “Change the Light Bulb: Habits and Choices to Create Success In All Aspects of Your Life”.
Creating synergistic teams and more profitability are some of the specialties that Colleen offers her clients. She believes that once people can truly understand themselves, then they can become the best of who they are in whatever aspect of life they are focused in. Colleen’s mission in life is to help as many people as she can, understand themselves, create wealth and live a joy-filled peaceful life.